


And Now we Live for All we Have Lost.

by Emaisnialleraf



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Buckley Parents - Freeform, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Missing Persons, Past Abuse, Protective Eddie Diaz, Protective Maddie Buckley, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Eddie Diaz, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley, worried chimney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23936428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emaisnialleraf/pseuds/Emaisnialleraf
Summary: Noticing the rise of emotions the older man pulled him up, dragging him into his chest with a few mumbles of comfort.“It’s alright, things are gonna be okay. I’m not gonna leave your side, I promise. You have me- you will always have me.”
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 219





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Found this hidden away as well .. something I can work on. Might gets updates sooner or later depending on inspiration; I am actually very excited to dive into this and keep myself busy.
> 
> Hopefully it's not super dramatic and unreadable.. wish me luck.
> 
> Thanks, guys.

When you go through a trauma, the fear of it never permanently leaves your memories. It may be on a subconscious level, but it stays with you until the day you pass on. Sometimes you can overcome it and the memory makes you stronger, but there is always something that drags you down deeper than it probably should.  
It's why answering the phone and hearing Maddie’s voice mentioning that man’s name sunk his lungs into his stomach. He stood from the table, rushing down the stairs and locking himself away in the locker room.  
“What do you mean he’s coming?”  
“Dad wanted to see us, mom too, I invited them down for a couple of days.”  
“You don’t think I should know this ahead of time?”  
“Why do you always get like this around them? I don’t know what happened when I left, but cutting them out of your life isn’t the answer. Maybe this will help you get some clarity.”  
Shaking his head he raised his free hand to his forehead, falling on the bench and practically going weightless.  
“Mads theres something I need to tell you-”  
“I have to go- dad is on the other line. Talk to you later.”  
The signal of her hanging up fell from his hand, phone clattering to the seat as he closed his eyes. It had been years since he saw either of his parents, for good reason and he really didn’t have the will to move on with seeing them again. The exhaustion was already weighing in and as arms slipped around his waist the first tear fell.  
“You alright? You- You’re shaking, baby what happened?”  
Eddie came around the bench, crouching by his side and gently holding the sides of his face.  
Flashes of his childhood sparked through his mind, memories he wished he had forgotten burning into his head as he refused to look at the man in front of him. Every hit, every refused meal, every family trip where he was left behind, he remembered all of it.

It took a couple of minutes for him to truly avoid a breakdown, the few tears soaking into his boyfriends fingers that still clung to his skin. Eddie stayed quiet, just dropping kisses on his head a few times until things calmed down.  
“Do you want need me to take you home?”  
Shaking his head he got himself together, pulling away and rubbing his hands along his irritated skin. Everything was just overwhelming at the moment and finally looking at the other man he sighed.  
“I’m sorry, I just-”  
“We’ve talked about this, mi amor.”  
The stern look brought a soft smile to his face, drawing a nod as he took in a deep breath.  
“Do you want to tell me anything?”  
Deciding that yes, he truly did, he opened his mouth to tell him, however the alarms blaring around them only denied the opportunity.  
“Alright, tell me later,” the older man gently tapped his hands against his knee in comfort.

The day was a quick one, they had basic emergencies and worked until the very last minute. By the time they got home Buck kissed Eddies cheek, took a shower and headed straight to bed, the conversation long forgotten.

It actually wasn’t until the next morning that he even remembered the phone call and it was when he was doing dishes while Eddie cooked breakfast. They both had thirty minutes before Buck headed into work and Eddie took Christopher to school before meeting him there. He almost dropped the plate, freezing in place before turning off the faucet and gently putting the plate back in the sink.  
“Eddie?”  
“Yeah?”  
Turning he watched the man continue his cooking, not even batting an eye at the sudden mood shift in his partner. He leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms and trying to figure out what to say.  
“About yesterday-”  
“Dad!”  
Flinching, he turned toward the boy entering the room, smiling wide and walking stronger than ever. Christopher looked excited for the day, backpack already on drawing a laugh from his father.  
“Hey, buddy! Ready for some eggs?”  
“Yeah! Morning, Buck!”  
Quickly uncrossing his arms he forced a smile on his face, the sight of Chris taking breath from his chest rather quickly. The timing brought a flashback to his mind, forcing him to quickly excuse himself from the room.  
“I’m gonna head out, I’ll see you guys later!”  
Fleeing he barely saw the shock on his boyfriend's face, not even realizing he hadn’t kissed their cheeks like a normal day, eaten breakfast or even finished getting ready.

“How do you not realize you forgot your tie? Come on, Buck-”  
Bobby didn’t seem upset, but his tone was truly questioning if something had happened this morning. Between Buck arriving so early, half-dressed and not nearly as talkative as normal it was obviously going to raise question.  
“It was a rushed morning, we woke up late and-”  
“Really?”  
His blood ran cold, words cutting themselves short as familiar footsteps walked up behind him. He held back his flinch as a bag dropped by his feet and he recognized the rest of his uniform through the flaps.  
“I think we need to talk.”  
Refusing to look at his team he stuffed his hands in his pocket, ignoring the way they shook as he tried so desperately to hide it.

The rest of the team left the room, Eddie walking around the fireman before they were facing each other head on.  
“What's going on, babe? You have never ran out like that before and you know damn well we were in no rush.”  
“I must have read the clock wrong-”  
“You were going to tell me something about the phone call.”  
“What phone call-”  
“Evan.”  
The voice was soft, he seemed genuinely concerned, but as his hand rose upward Buck only saw anger. The flinch wasn’t subtle and the shocked silence dug his hole deeper. He took a step back, arms pulling themselves from their stance as he cursed himself.  
“Buck?”  
“I’m sorry- It’s just been an off morning I guess-”  
“Sweetheart, you’re shaking.”  
A gentle hand grabbed his wrist, guiding him toward a chair as his phone began to ring. Eddie got to it first, reading the screen and handing it over.  
“It’s your sister.”  
Not wanting to answer it he hesitated, clearly waving a red flag to the man who tilted his head.  
“Did something happen with Maddie?”  
Biting his lip, he couldn’t bring himself to answer, forcing the other man to stand and take the call.

The voice was soft, only gone for a minute before the body was back in front of him.  
“She said your dad was coming down, did something happen in your family? I know you never talk to them, but if you need anything-”  
“When?”  
“His plane comes in tomorrow.”  
Dropping his head to the man’s shoulder he knew he needed to say something, but he just couldn’t bring himself to. He had never told a soul about his childhood, about what happened, and to this day he still felt like he would get punished for opening his mouth. Even the hand sliding into his wasn’t enough to protect him.  
“I’m worried, mi amor. I need you to talk to me.”  
The fingers on his cheek lifted his gaze, brown eyes staring back at him with millions of emotions running through them.  
“I don’t want him here.”  
“Your dad?”  
Nodding he felt his eyes grow warm, unable to turn away from the hold.  
“What happened?”  
The worry turned to fear, then anger as he pulled the face into his shoulder.  
“What happened, Baby?”  
The only response was a muffled sob, his only free hand clutching to the man’s shirt as tightly as the trembling would allow.  
“Maddie doesn’t know, I couldn’t call her and my mom- she didn’t care.”  
“Did he hurt you?”  
He tried desperately to hold himself together, but the truth coming to light was much stronger than him.  
“Did he hurt you, Evan?”

After that no one else had really spoken, he couldn’t bring himself to, but Eddie knew. The first call was the only thing that got him up and as they got into the truck Eddie wouldn’t let go of his hand.  
“Everything alright?”  
Nodding at Bobby he listened to the briefing, trying to focus on the emergency.

“We are going to talk about it, we have to.”  
“It's not that big of a deal-”  
“You flinched at my hand, Buck.”  
“I wasn’t thinking-”  
“You were overthinking. Your dad gets in tomorrow and I am not letting him anywhere near you if what I think is going on really is. I also don't want to jump to conclusions, babe.”  
Falling on the couch he let out a breath, trying to disappear into the cushions as a plate of food was dropped in front of him.  
“I’m not hungry-”  
“I don’t care, here.”  
He almost laughed at the scene, Eddie trying to feed him off the fork aimed in his direction. But, it wasn’t the right time and he just pushed the hand down as he sat up straight.  
“Maddie left home.”  
“When?”  
“I was just shy of middle school.”  
“She didn’t know?”  
“No one knew. I left when I was eighteen.”  
He could tell the man was figuring it out on his own, he couldn’t bring himself to say it and quickly grabbed a piece of toast from his plate. As shaky as his fingers were it delayed time just enough.  
“Did your dad hit you, baby?”  
The food lost its taste, painfully chewing through the denial as fingers pried the food from his hands.  
“Did he hit you?”  
Locking eyes was the answer, he watched the other man grind his teeth and shake his head before standing up.  
“Did you have hospital visits?”  
“I did.”  
“They never found out?”  
“I went to different ones.”  
“You took yourself?”  
“I skipped school to go.”  
“He isn’t coming here.”  
“Maddie doesn’t know-”  
“She should. She should know and he should be in prison!”  
The tone quickly lowered, an apologetic look on his face trying to clear the air.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”  
“It’s alright.”  
“I don't want him here. I don’t want him near you.”  
He didn’t fight against the body pulling him close, just melting into the embrace with a heavy sigh. It was like the warmth around him smothered worry into nothing and he had no words to say.  
“I will call Maddie and tell her you are sick, that I don’t want anyone over. How long are they in town?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“That's alright, I’ll figure it out.”

“I know, but as long as we are so overrun we can’t have visitors at the station- I will see what our shifts are like. He’s just been busy, he would never ignore you Maddie.”  
Eddie paced the home as Buck sprawled across the furniture, frowning at the ceiling as his wrist rested against his forehead. His parents had arrived at the airport and his sister was constantly messaging him, trying to get him to go over which sent lead into his stomach. He was so glad Eddie knew and he had someone on his side, and not having to avoid them on his own made him feel a little safer.  
“Alright, I will call you back later. Bye.”  
The phone fell on the table, his best friend coming around the side of the couch with a head shake.  
“Scoot.”  
Following the words he did, laying his head along the lap with a soft smile.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you more.”  
His eyes fluttered closed as lips pressed against his forehead.  
“You are so strong, baby. Keeping a distance is the best thing you can do, I will be right here if you need anything, alright?”  
“You think I should tell Maddie?”  
“I do, however it is not my decision. It is yours and I respect it.”  
“I just thought I was free, Eddie.”  
“You are-”  
“No one knows, I never told anyone- You knowing makes it so much easier.”  
His voice shook.  
“It got so bad Eddie.. It got so bad and there would be so much blood-”  
Noticing the rise of emotions the older man pulled him up, dragging him into his chest with a few mumbles of comfort.  
“It’s alright, things are gonna be okay. I’m not gonna leave your side, I promise. You have me- you will always have me.”

It was two days later, a Thursday, that Buck walked into a disaster. He saw Maddie first, making him want to smile, but then remembered the situation and felt his feet slam to a halt. As though they were glued to the floor he just lost all ability to move and felt a body fall in line behind him.  
“Hey- What's going on?”  
He tore his hand from his boyfriends, panic flooding through him as Maddie turned and frowned in his direction.  
“Evan?”  
Before he could respond he saw the guests, forcing himself to stand still as the rest of his team and parents came into view. The sight of that man made him revel in discomfort and the hand on his shoulder kept him sane.  
“Evan, what a pleasant surprise! Here we thought you were avoiding us!”  
Steps quick, his mother headed in his direction, pulling him into a hug with an embrace too suffocating. He wouldn’t hug back, eyes still locked on his father who was also heading his way. There were a hundred scenarios running through his head and he couldn’t think of one that wouldn’t end in disaster, yet the moment he was let go another body stepped in front of him. Eddies back took up his entire view and he felt pride smoke up in his chest.  
“Do not come near him.”  
“Excuse me?”  
The voice was as bitter as he remembered it being.  
“He might not be able to say it, but I will. You have no right coming near him, go home.”  
“Evan- what's going on?”  
The shock in his mother’s voice was convincing, as much as it always was, and a part of him felt pulled into just telling Eddie to move. Not this time though. No more is he going to fall for it, so taking a step forward he looked at Maddie, confusion melting into shock as he began to speak for himself.  
“Maddie, I would appreciate it if you took them home.”  
“Buck-”  
“I will explain later, please take them out of here.”  
He could tell Eddie was pissed by the way he held himself, and normally he would attempt to calm the man down, however this time he held the back of the sweater in his fists as he continued his pleads from behind.  
“What’s going on here- Madeline tell your brother-”  
There was a spark in her eye next, not completely knowing, but enough to get her in gear as she turned toward the older couple.   
Something was wrong.

“Buck is right, I was told they were busy and ignored the telling to stay away from the station. We can call him later, he has to get to his shift.”  
Without looking in his direction her heels patted away, leading the others with her as they complained loudly about the disrespect and how it would be handled later.  
The team was still shocked into silence, obviously not reading the signs as Eddie followed the small group until the car was out of sight.

“When did they get here?”  
“Uh,” Chimney was first to speak, “about ten minutes ago maybe? What's going on?”  
Before anyone could speak the god-sent alarm sounded, Buck taking a deep breath of relief before making his escape to the lockers.  
He needed to talk to Maddie.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, writing this second chapter I realized why I do all one-shots. Story lines are hard! I forget I don't have to rush through details and conversations because of.. you know.. more chapters. 
> 
> Kudos to people able to drag things out in thousands of words.

“Buck, you need to tell me what is going on! Mom and dad’s feelings are hurt, you haven’t spoken to any of us in two days! Please just tell me what’s going on, I know you left home on a bad note and-”

“I don’t want to argue over the phone, we can meet up after my shift and talk then.”  
He leaned heavily against the side of the firehouse, head in his hand as he painfully rubbed at the already reddened skin of his temples. From the past few days of pure fear he hadn’t got much sleep and exhaustion was beginning to pile up in weight. From head to toe he felt a hundred pounds heavier and as much as he needed his day off tomorrow, he knew he needed to get this done. 

The conversation of his parents was more important than he led on to anyone, even Eddie and if he didn’t let people know then it would hurt everyone involved. 

“Okay. Tomorrow morning at your place.”

“Just- Mads, please don’t tell them and don’t bring them.”

“I won’t, okay?”  
He could hear her frustration, trying not to take it personally as he scuffed his boots into the pavement. As soon as he told her she would understand, he just needed to keep himself calm and not lash out at things beyond her control. 

“You better have a good reason, they really are upset.”

“Listen, I have to go.”

He dropped his hand at a new set of footsteps coming toward him, looking up and sighing in relief when Eddie stood across from him mirroring his stature on the building. His life just felt stuck in motion, he felt like these last few days showed him how different him and his sisters lives really were. They were on the right track, but they really had no memories, nothing to truly have known each other.

“See you tomorrow?”  
“See you tomorrow.”  
Hanging up quickly he headed back to the garage, grabbing his best friends hand as he went. 

“Are you meeting up with her?”

“Yeah, she’s going to come over so I can.. Explain.”

“You don’t have any reason to feel guilty, she will understand when you tell her. When I get home we can get Chris from school and maybe grab some dinner.”

Smiling warmly he stopped walking when they got to the steps, turning and pressing a kiss to the other man’s lips. How he got this man to love him he had no idea, but it was too much luck to let go. Eddie believed him without an ounce of doubt, he protected him even without understanding and it made his chest explode with things he never thought he would feel. 

And his smile could only grow when the alarm went off, he got to go save lives with his family. What could beat that?

“Buckley! Diaz! My office now.”

Jumping from the ambulance the two looked up at the captain, then at each other before following him toward the hidden away room. Buck could feel his head tilting in confusion, having already told Bobby things were being taken care of and wouldn’t effect work. But, as the door was shut and they were seated on the chairs he knew it was far from cleared. 

“You two are hiding something from me, from the team. I understand it’s personal, but don’t think I haven’t noticed phone calls, the way you held yourself from your parents. You don’t have to tell me everything, but I need to know things are being handled. I just need to know whats going on.”

“Things are being handled, Cap.”

The look shot at him drew word vomit, trying to back up from the repeated words. 

“Really! I am getting with Maddie tomorrow- Things are getting worked out and it’s not gonna get worse!”

Eddie's hand on his shoulder drew his attention, cutting his words as he turned to lock eyes with the soft browns. From his look he knew what was about to happen, forcing his head to shake with heavy refusal. 

“Ed-”  
“Hiding this from the team will only make things worse and more confusing. I think you need to tell him, in case they come back to the station or something happens.”

“Something happens? What could possibly happen? I’m an adult now, they aren’t going to go out of their way to-”

The fingers tightened their grip gently, his body falling heavier into the chair as he looked away from them both. 

“Buck.”

He cursed the burning behind his eyes, the amount of tears shed this week have been out of control. No longer was he a child, he could defend himself, they wouldn’t dare touch him now. They didn’t even know where he lived much less working hours. He was safe. They just needed to wait until the pair left back home to Pennsylvania then it would be over.

“Buck.”

His captain spoke his name again, this time in expectations of the truth. Anger was growing inside his stomach, but the moment he opened his lips to lash out he turned just in time to see Eddie stand. The fingers pulled away and he maneuvered his way to the back of his chair. 

“This is personal, it may be easier without me here. Buck, look at me.”

He quickly did so, mentally begging the man to stay. He made things easier, so much easier. 

“It will be okay, if you need me I will be outside.”

With a nod he was gone, forcing him to turn toward Bobby as the man raised an eyebrow

“How long was this going on?”  
He could almost hear the pain in the man's voice, fingers running down his face and he struggled to keep himself calm in the conversation.

“It started in middle school. I didn’t think she still talked to them, that they even cared enough to come visit.”

“And when you left?”

“I was eighteen. He hit me for the last time and I just left. I also was a legal adult, they couldn't label me as missing."

“Did you ever tell anyone? Police?”  
“No.”

The pattern of the carpet was the only thing he could truly focus on, hands in his lap as the other gaze locked on him. 

“You don’t want to report it now?”

His voice almost sounded sad, finally lifting Buck’s gaze as he shrugged.

“What would be the point, Bobby? I was the youngest and the last in the house, it’s not like he’s still hurting anyone. I would have told someone if he was.”

“I know you would have, Buck, I know. But he can still pay for his crimes, what he did to you was not okay, either of them.”

“I already got this speech from Eddie. It’s not my fault, I shouldn’t feel guilty-”

“You also shouldn’t hide it from people you trust. If we would have known we would have warned you or sent them on their way. After today if they come back to this station I won’t be able to keep myself quiet. We should tell Athena-"

"I know it's serious, I know. But, it was years ago. I have no evidence, I have no more bruises, it's the past. They haven't even talked to me nonetheless hurt me. It's over."

The man across from him just sighed, staring at him with emotions that he just nodded.

"If anything happens you come to me. Thats an order. Then we go straight to Athena. I can't force you, I can't go behind your back. You come straight to me. Hear me, Buckley?"

Nodding in understanding he stood, starting toward the door.

“I am meeting with Maddie tomorrow and I am going to tell her everything, I will let you know how it goes and what we do from there. Thanks, Cap.”  
“Always here for you, kid.”

One genuine smile later and he was out the door.

Brushing his teeth later that night Buck smiled as he watched the boys in his bed, the current tickle fight reminding him just how much he loved his family. Eddie had Christopher on his side, the boy laughing so hard that spit was spilling from his lips. He went to joke about the tickle monster having a best friend to join when his mind blanked, no longer seeing the child, but himself. 

_His dad had him pinned, his cries piercing through the house as the hanger finally snapped in half and fell to the floor. The anger flooding through the room in screams terrified him, he felt helpless and looking up through his tears he watched his mother frown in the doorway. He wanted to beg for her help, the pain in his thighs flaring into bruises in a way that felt like fire. Like flames licking up his skin so severely that he wouldn't be able to hide them this time._

_“I told you if you ever called your sister again I would kill ya, didn’t I?”_   
_“I'm sorry!”_ _He could barely get out the words, lungs tightening at the weight piling on his back. His body was trembling in sweat at the sheer force over him, pushing him down in the now distraught comforter. The hand once wailing on his was now in his hair, tugging it tightly in it’s grip._

_“You have no business talking to her! You have no right dragging her back into this god forsaken home! If you ever tell her..”_   
_The voice drifted past him, spit sticking against his neck as his face was shoved deeper into his mattress. Another hand dug into his side, furthermore tearing into the already bruised skin between his fingers._

_“.. do you understand me, boy!”_

_It wasn’t a question, but he tried his best to answer, struggling with words as his breaths grew into sharp gasps._

“Buck?”

_The kicking slowly gave out, the cries melted into mewls of terror and the darkness was beginning to cave in. He felt the fist from his side disappear, only to knock the side of his head in one harsh motion._

“Buck?”

_“Evan Buckley you answer me!”_

“Buck!”

“Yes!”  
His voice was trembling, toothbrush clanking loudly against the floor and gaining his attention. It knocked him out of the memory, eyes locking on Eddie who was know frowning at him in concern. Christopher was still laughing in his own world, oblivious as his father got up and began making his way across the room. He could still feel the spit against his neck, even as Eddie’s hand took the space and gently called his name. 

“Are you alright?”  
The other hand on his waist had the same effect, touches so similar from what he saw, yet so different from that he remembered. 

“Mi amor, look at me.”  
Nodding quickly he reached up, wiping the spit from his mouth with his hands that was beginning to make its way down his skin. The white foam was disgusting, turning his face a dusting red in embarrassment before a towel came into view. He let the man wipe his lips, following his neck and in that moment he felt free. He felt so free that he let his forehead fall heavily into the chest ahead of him as the man reached out to gently clean off his fingers.

“You’re okay.”

Without finding words he just nodded, arms wrapping around his waist and pulling the body closer as soon as he could. 

“Dad! Dad you have to tickle me!”  
Christopher’s voice was gentle, still not noticing anything wrong, but quickly getting the need for more attention. Buck almost jumped at the sounds, forgetting where they were for a second.

“Hey, buddy, how about you head to brush your teeth. I can read you a story before bed if you want.”  
“Okay! Is Buck gonna read one too?”  
“Two stories? Mijo, I think your bedtime has long passed!”  
The giggles flooded down the hallway, them both listening as the crutches rocked their way down the hall. The two in the bathroom however didn't move, his hands still not wanting to let go as a kiss pressed into his curls . 

“Wanna get into bed while I tuck him in?”  
"In a minute."  
"Take your time, he's probably going to take a minute to chose what book he wants to read."  
“Thank you.”  
“Always.”

That night he stayed curled into the man’s chest, listening to the breaths underneath him with nothing but grateful feelings. He was the most blessed he had ever been, in love with everything he had. 

“If you need me tomorrow just call me. No matter what. The whole team has your back.”

“I know and I love you for it.”

“Good, cause I love you too.”  
He couldn’t help the grin finally painted across his face. 

The knocking at the door was gentle and without hesitating opened immediately after the warning. He heard the heels making their way toward the kitchen and as he finished pouring the second cup of coffee he heard her voice. 

“Good morning.”  
Her sweater and purse fell across the counter, chair scooting across the room as she settled down behind him. 

“Morning.”  
Handing her a coffee he smiled warmly, noticing the worry still etched across her face despite the attempt to hide it. 

“So.”  
His stomach grew into stone as he jumped on the counter, wishing they were on the couch at least to make him somewhat comfortable. 

“Jumping right in?”  
“Jumping right in. What's going on, Buck?”  
“Before I tell you this I just need you to know it wasn’t your fault.”  
He watched her eyebrow raise, obviously she had no clue that her world was about to come crashing down around both of them. He had no reason to think she wouldn't believe him, she would understand.

“What wasn’t? The argument?”

“Argument?”  
It was his turn to be confused. He never remembered arguing back, or any big arguments that would have him walking out of the house without a stretcher.

“You don’t have to hide it, I know this is why everything is so tense. Dad told me about it.”  
“What argument?”

“You don’t have to hide it from me anymore, Buck, I haven’t brought it up because I knew you weren’t happy being stuck at home any longer. I know about the money and running away-”  
“The money- What the hell are you talking about?”  
“You stole their money and ran. They said you took all their savings, grabbed the car and just left. They didn’t want you joining the Navy so you… left..”  
Her voice drifted, obviously understanding everything coming out of her mouth was lost in translation. She had seemed so sure of what she was saying, but the more she spoke the more his face grew lost.

“Did it not happen like that?”  
“Maddie, I did run. I ran like hell the day of my birthday and I didn’t look back, but not because of that. I didn’t even tell him about the Navy.”  
How did his dad know about the Navy?

“Then what happened? Why did you run?”

His hands grew sweaty as he tried keeping himself focused, her head falling in question when he let out a heavy sigh of nerves. Having to actually say it was growing more difficult than he thought it would be; How do you tell your sister that her parents were complete opposites of everything she knew?

“Dad and I never had the best relationship. We.. weren’t compatible.”  
He cursed at himself, he wasn’t making this easy.

“Because of your friends.”

“My friends?”  
“That group you always hung out with, the thugs.”  
She sipped from her coffee, staring at him with such certainty that he began to realize how much of a liar his father had really become. 

“I didn’t have friends, mads.”  
“Yeah you did, remember the ones you always told dad about, um, Craig and Matthew!”  
She snapped her fingers in remembrance, leaning forward in her chair as she continued. 

“You met them in school on the football team.”  
He wanted to shake his head in disbelief, but he wasn't sure the exact reason. How much was she told, and why hadn't any of this come up before? Everything she has said so far was so opposite of what he knew that it almost scared him that she wouldn't believe anything he was trying to tell her.

“I didn’t play football.”  
“Yeah you did, number fifteen.. Buck, dad told me so many stories of you on that football team! All your meets and trips!”  
“I wasn’t on the football team, I didn’t have friends. Everything he told you.. Why do you think you heard from him and not from me? If it was that exciting wouldn’t I have called you?”  
“You were antisocial-”

“I wasn’t antisocial, I was locked in my room.”  
“That's- I remember him calling me from the games!”

He was beginning to grow increasingly agitated, putting down his coffee he hadn’t even taken a sip from. His head was spinning and the words kept flowing from her mouth as if she was there. But she wasn’t. He is trying to remember that, but the moment she mentioned summer camp he just couldn’t help it. None of this was making sense.  
She wasn't listening.

“I didn’t go to summer camp or games or the mall or any of that bullshit! Okay? He locked me in my room and beat the shit out of me!”

Her voice cut immediately, eyes dark as she straightened in her chair. 

“That's not funny, Evan.”

“I wasn’t joking!”

The words spilling from his lips were harsher than he intended, breaths drawing in as calm as he could convince himself to. The fact that he so bluntly came out with it after all his fears shocked him. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins and now that it was out in the open he wouldn't be able to stop himself. 

“A smack every once in a while-”  
“It wasn’t every once in a while and it wasn’t a smack. He- He never stopped. It was a constant beating everyday from middle school until I ran on my birthday! Everything he told you was a lie!”  
“You would have told me.”

“When?”  
“When I came back from Doug! When I was taken and Chimney was stabbed! You would have told me!”  
“Why? Because he was still around? It’s been over for years! There was no reason- Mads, he..”  
The words caught in his throat, he watched in fear as she stood, grabbing her sweater and throwing it back on to leave. If this got back to him-

“I would have noticed if he beat you, Buck. The fact that you hate him so much that you are willing to lie is complete and utter bullshit!”  
“Maddie-”

“I am so disappointed and so angry at you right now!”  
Grabbing her purse she didn’t even look at him on her way out, he fell from the counter in such a rush his cup shattered across the floor, hot coffee spraying in every direction. He could feel his confidence crumbling and his lungs pushed overdrive as he chased her down the hall.

“Maddie, stop! Please!”  
“I can’t talk to you right now-”  
“You can’t tell him! You can’t tell him- Maddie, stop!”  
“Why? Because he’s the liar and you aren’t? Hatred is one thing, accusations are another! I thought you would understand the difference!”

“I’m not lying,” he begged for her to turn as he followed her to the front door, watching it open with fear flooding through his veins, “just listen to me!”

She scoffed before stepping onto the porch, tears blurring his vision as he reached to grab her purse.

“Don’t leave again! Just don’t leave! You always leave and that's when it happens! You promised me!”  
The sob in his throat was numbing, watching her stop mid-step in the driveway. 

“You said you would always come back and you didn’t! You didn’t come back and he .. It all got worse from there! You never saw it! You neve saw him-”

God, he couldn’t bring himself to say it.   
He knew he needed to keep her from leaving, but describing it and labeling it are two completely different things. To say he was abused.. to say it so loud and clear petrified him. He felt like he was going to pass out, like he was going to be sick. 

Just say it.

He just had to say it.

“He..”  
Her body turned, eyes rimmed red as she dropped her purse and faced him completely. From head to toe he froze, body exploding with nerves as he spit the words out like they were drowning him. 

“He what?”  
Even the tone in her voice was cracking, trembling in denial as she finally just looked at him. She finally saw him and it gave him enough bravery to just say it.

“He abused me.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May.
> 
> Mental Health Awareness.  
> Lyme Disease Awareness.
> 
> Do some research, reach out to your friends; Remember you are loved so dearly and things just get tough sometimes. You'll get through it. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading.

They must have stared at each other for a while. 

Buck felt the pressure in his chest begin to lessen, no longer feeling like the next thing he says will end up in vomit all over the pavement. Maddie had tears dripping down her cheeks and as much as he wanted to just hug her and wipe them away he needed to know she believed him. If she didn’t then he wouldn’t know what to do at this point.  
What do you do when your whole family is against you?  
All he wanted was someone there, someone to believe him and after everything she had been through he could understand her frustrations, that she didn't notice and was stuck between being angry with their parents or with herself. Or even at him for hiding this for so long-  


He was pulled from his thoughts by a hand slipping in his, blinking himself aware and focusing on the face in his. The tears on her face were roughly wiped away, leaving her eyes rimmed red, but quickly replaced with more still trailing down her cheeks. She was still there as she silently pulled him into a strong hug and it relieved him of part of the weight chained onto him all these years.  Her grip had no room for escape and he was settled, wrapping his own arms around her and hanging on just as tight. He wanted to cry, he finally told her after all these years and things were working out, but he knew they had so much more to talk about. 

“So, when you guys went on that family trip to Florida..”  
He shook his head, a sad smile floating across his face as he stared across the street. They were sat in the doorway, bodies firmly against each other as they sat as close as possible. Her hands were tangled with his and she had finally stopped crying, coming to terms that everything she had known over the last lifetime was untrue.

“They went without me.”  
“So how are we going to deal with this?”  
“What do you mean?”  
Looking at her he saw the expression switch from sad to determined, eyes flashing in acceptance. 

“Buck, I ran from my abuser and almost ended up dead. You can’t just do nothing.”  
“They haven’t even talked to me since I left, it’s not like he’s going out of his way to notice my existence or even hurt me-”  
“No, we need to do something. Obviously I am sending them back, but you can’t just pretend nothing happened! It’s clearly still affecting you, you need help.”  
“Help? I have been fine-”  
“Just the thought of me telling him what you told me destroyed you, you were practically on your knees begging me not to go. The raw fear you have at mention of their names is not okay. And how do you even know they won’t do anything?”  
“You know them, they just sit back and-”  
“No,” her hands grew tense, body shifting as she wildly shook her head, “I do not know them. Everything they told me, everything I believed about them was a lie. You could have died and I never would have known the truth.”

“They wouldn’t have killed me,” saying it with such truth took her response away. He knew they weren’t aiming to do anything landing them in prison.  
“The worst hospital visit I had was a few broken bones, maybe some stitches. They were never cutting me open or throwing me down stairs.”  
“You can’t do that."  
“Do what?”  
“Justify what they did,” moving to sit in front of him she wrapped a hand around the side of his face, “and use it against yourself. They hurt you, they abused you and they didn’t take care of you. The moment he hit you the first time he became a monster. I should not have left, I should have come back, but I made a mistake and you paid a price because of it.”  
“Mad-”  
“No. I am not saying this because I think I forced his hands on you, I am saying this because I did abandon you when you needed me most. I used phone calls as an excuse that I was still there. The fact you never called me, it was a red flag, Doug did the same thing. I should have been there for you. I should have.. I had a part in this too.”

Holding his tongue he signaled he understood, not fully accepting it, but letting her get her grief out on the table.   
“Now, what are we going to do?”  
With a shrug he genuinely had no idea, at this point he just wanted it all to be over and everything to go back to what it was.   
“Everyone wants me to get the police involved, I am not even sure they can still be tried at this point, Mads.”  
“Of course they can, look at me,” her hand pulled him back to reality, gaining his focus more seriously. “They can be reported and actions can be taken. I can go with you, Eddie can go with you. You don’t have to let this slide under the rug.”

By the time she left Buck was exhausted, falling into the chair still left in the middle of the kitchen. The coffee on the tile was now sticky, drying fast as he stared harshly at it. His mind was willing it to just disappear, but he knew he should probably get to it before Eddie got home. Which apparently was now, as soon as he looked away from the spilled mess he heard the front door opening, a confused smile spreading on his lips as he turned to the clock. It was an hour before the man was due home, but the surprise was more welcomed than he realized. 

Without bothering to explain he called out, “Ignore the mess! Me and Maddie just finished, what got you out so early?”  
Turning his head he felt his face pale, smile dropping as he jumped to his feet. 

There, just a few feet away was his mother staring at him with an emotionless expression burning into him. 

“Why are you here? How did you-”  
“Evan, I just want to talk.”  
“Where is he?”  
Looking around the room he stepped farther back, telling himself they weren’t going to do anything; But his mind just wouldn’t stop showering him with the what ifs.  
“It's just me, no one else is here.”  
“You need to leave.”  
His stomach was ice, curling into him as he looked around desperately for his phone. It wasn’t anywhere in sight and his fingers began to shake with nerves. 

“I don’t want you here.”  
“Please, I just want to talk. I know things were out of control back when you were a child, but things have gotten better! Your father-”  
“He is not my father. They got better because I left and never saw you again, you- I never deserved any of what you let happen!”  
He begged himself to stand tall, he was so much bigger than her, she had no control, yet the fact she was so close and in his home melted him into the floor. No part of him wanted to move. 

“Sweetheart, nothing happened that didn’t happen to others kids. Whatever you are thinking went down is a figure of your imagination. You were fed, you had clothes and an education-”  
“No. You don’t get to do that to me! You let him hurt me and treat me like nothing! You watched him do everything he did and never batted an eye! You have no right being here!”  
“Here? Where you live with your husband and child? Really? A man, Evan?”  
“Yes. A man, who I love and treats me better than you ever did- A man I am calling right now!”

Making a break for it he forced himself forward, roughly passing by her in order to get to his bedroom. 

“I just want to talk, before your father heads down this way.”  
His walk faltered, hands grasping the nearest doorknob that happened to be Christopher's room.   
“What do you mean heads this way? Did you tell him where I lived?”  
He spun around at her scoff, the disbelief on her face was almost hard to understand. 

“He is your father, Evan. Of course I told him! We haven’t talked in years, we should talk everything out.”  
“No. Get out of my house now!”  
Heading toward the front door he flung it open, pointing to the car that now sat at the end of the driveway, blocking his own jeep.   
She barely moved, sighing before checking her watch in what seemed like annoyance. 

“You don’t want to do this, it’ll be easier if you just talk to us like human beings instead of trying to throw us out.”  
“There is no us.”  
Leaving the door open he headed back to his room, sighing in relief at the sight of his phone sitting on the side of the bed. The moment he picked it up it started to ring, Maddie’s number flashing across the screen. Answering it he felt a bubble of pride in his chest, he was standing up for himself and soon Maddie would come down and help get her out.  
“Maddie-”  
“Buck! I just pulled into the driveway and their car is gone-”  
“I know, she’s here trying to get me to talk. I’m going to call Eddie-”  
“No, Buck they are both gone! Mom and Dad, neither of them are here!”  
The fear in her voice only tightened his grip on the phone, forcing his legs to move him back toward the living room. Just down the hall he could see her still standing there, arms crossed as she looked around the house in what seemed like curiosity. There was still no sign of her husband, keeping the small chance of freedom from turning to full fledged terror.

“Mads, he is not here, I only saw one car, I’m looking at her now. If you head down here I-”  
He was interrupted by the slamming of his front door, phone dropping from his hand in surprise at how loud it did so. Part of him truly thought it was wind, maybe it swung back, but as his mother's head turned he felt his stomach fall. Her smile was sinister, hands reaching out as she walked out of view. He didn’t have to hear the voice to know who was here and as Maddie's voice rattled across the line from the floor he heard footsteps coming closer. 

“I tried telling him we were here to talk, he yelled at me.”  
Each pound against the floor stomped across his chest, breaths picking up pace as he took a step backward into his and Eddie’s room.   
“He never did learn respect.”  
“I don’t know where we went wrong.”  
Eyeing the phone, part of him wanted to grab it, to tell Maddie to get down here, but as soon as the sight of boots came into view his door was slamming shut and he flipped the lock.   
“Evan Buckley, get out here and explain yourself to me now!”  
The raspy voice wasn’t what he remembered, it was so much more firm, but this one was filled with malice. Threatening his existence as he looked around for anything to use against the man heading toward him. 

How didn’t he see this coming? He was so stupid, why wouldn’t they come after him? He thought it was in the past, why would they go out of their way to cause him harm now that he was thousands of miles away with a life?  
The door rattled harshly, pressure from the other side sending it into furious pounds as the fist came down.   
“Evan! Boy you better open this door!”

Why the hell was this happening?

  
  


Eddie walked into the home with his phone pressed against his ear, holding open the door and struggling to get inside with his hands full of groceries. He wanted to surprise Buck with a nice dinner, calm his nerves as best he could with all the anxiety he has been dealing with the past few days. Chimney was on the other end of the line, asking something about Maddie and he knew something must of happened between them this morning after their talk. Bringing it up to his sister must have been tough, part of him wishes he was there, but also knew it was something they had to deal with together. Knowing her they would be fine, part of him even expected her to still be here, but when the man looked up he froze immediately at the sight of a chair sitting in the middle of his entry way. Dropping the bags he quickly moved forward, ducking into the kitchen and noticing the shattered coffee cup across the floor.   
Something must have happened, his heart stopped beating and looking at the footprints stamped across the floor he quickly put the phone back up to his ear.  
“Chimney, call Athena.”   
“What? What's going on?”  
“Someone was in my house- Buck!”

Turning down the hallway he ran, halting in the doorway and raising a hand against the now splintered wood. The lock looked like someone tried to pry it open, draining the blood from his face as he moved forward inside and looked around. 

“Buck!”  
Hanging up on the other firefighter he dialed the familiar number, checking the bathroom quickly before running back down the hall. He only made it a few steps before his foot slid, forcing his gaze down to the phone just now beginning to ring.    
  


It was Buck’s phone. 


	4. Chapter Four

His hands trembled, barely able to grip the car door as the engine clicked off and the two others stepped out of the car. Outside the window he could see Maddie’s apartment, his sister running down the stairs with so many emotions running through her face. 

The moment her eyes locked on him in the backseat she pushed past the older couple, trying to open his door only for it to refuse entry.   
“Why isn’t this opening?”  
“Get in the car, Madeline.”  
The man’s tone was enraged, his eyes darting around the parking-lot as he grabbed her arm and shoved her around the back of the car. He heard his sister’s voice beg, asking him what was going on as the other door opened and she was thrown inside. 

He had known the door was child-locked, he tried jumping out several times on the ride over, but other than that he sat silent, terrified of displeasing or pissing off the man any further than he already was. 

“Buck are you okay?”  
She tried pulling him closer, but he forced himself farther away, shaking his head without looking in her direction. He didn’t want to make things worse, he knew Eddie would get off work soon and hopefully head straight home.   
Whispering again she tried grabbing his hand, attempting to calm the tremors still rocking through his limbs with every breath he took. 

“Where are you taking us?”  
“We are going to talk, dear. We haven’t caught up in years.”  
The passenger seemed genuinely calm, no other words needed as the car started back up and the driver backed out of the parking space.   
“We need to talk about all the lies that have been circling the last few days, clear up some of the damage done by your brother.”  
“You know this is wrong, mom, you know-”  
“That's enough,” the man’s voice boomed, shooting them back into silence as he took off toward the main street. 

They drove for a while, Buck no longer trying to follow direction nor fight Maddie as she tugged his form closer to hers. He didn’t know how she thought she was going to protect him, he was six foot, yet still stood shorter than the man currently taking them from the city. He had no more of that hope he felt earlier that morning, he couldn’t push back the memories long enough to fight back. He couldn’t even plead and struggled with how he thought tonight was going to end. 

“Stay in the car.”  
At first he thought they were both being ordered, but as the car came to a stop his side opened and a fist was in his jacket, dragging him from the vehicle as Maddie struggled to remove her seat belt.   
“Don’t touch him!”  
She flung herself toward him, eyes going wide in desperation as the door slammed shut and the youngest looked up to the face hovering over him. Looking around they were obviously in a park, surrounded by trees and no one was around as far as he could see. They were the only ones in sight and before he could drag himself to sit up a fist was in his hair, forcing his gaze upward just to be slammed back down.   
The pain was enough to draw tears in his eyes, hands racing up to protect himself as the fist only grew tighter above his shoulder, suffocating and locking in another punch across his jaw. He could taste blood as his teeth rattled, coughs heaving from his lips as he strived to get away from the hold. 

“I told you not to drag her back in, boy. I warned you years ago, yet here we are. The moment she called us I knew you were dumb enough to have mentioned something.”  
Another fist and he felt his vision blur, streaks of red keeping him from seeing the attacks, arms drawing up to hide his face in his forearms. He thought he would feel more fear, but all he could muster was sorrow. The fact that seeing Eddie and Christopher might have long passed for this lifetime. That he wouldn’t be able to work with his team or tell them how much they meant to him. If the fists wailing on him kept their pace he knew that this was more serious than intended and that he may not be walking out of here a free man, nor possibly even alive.   
Every time he was made to feel this small he never thought it would be his last sight, he never thought the man would kill him; but in his heart he knew that maybe his parents truly were willing to take it that far. 

He could hear Maddie still screaming in the car, his hands losing their strength as they fell down to his sides. The grip on his clothes finally released, dropping him to the ground as his will to escape finally gave in. He knew he had to have been concussed, his body felt run out and he couldn’t quite focus on anything. The sky above him was too bright and as a moan left his lips he curled over into himself. 

_“Buck!”_   
  


“Buck!”

  
_“I didn’t give up! I didn’t give up!”_  


His heart stuttered, his sister's voice flooding through his ears as he heard a car door open. 

_“I’m not gonna leave your side, I promise.”_

Eddie. 

_“You have me- you will always have me.”_

_“You are never going to be left behind, okay? No matter what.”  
_   
  


The voices in his head were growing stronger, outweighing the pain as he rolled over onto his back. Commotion all around him brought him back to reality, hands digging into the dirt so harshly he could barely hold back his groan. 

Buck couldn’t give up. He had to try. 

He had to get home. 

  
  
  


“You’ve reached Buck, sorry I can’t get to the phone, leave me a message and I’ll get you back in a bit!”

Eddie listened to the voicemail again, struggling to keep himself together as Christopher stayed tucked into his side. He could feel all the eyes on him, no one able to speak up as his went to redial once more. 

“Any updates?”  
“No, we sent out an APB, nothing yet.”  
Cursing he almost crushed his phone, his son letting out a sigh as he wiggled around in his father's lap. 

“Why do I have to go with Carla? Why can’t Buck come get me!”

Shaking his head he pressed his phone against his forehead, silence all he could muster if not lash out at everything around him. He could hear footsteps, new hands wrapping around his son granting him a chance to press his other palm against his thigh. He was vibrating in the need to go out, to look on his own and find any resemblance to the described vehicle, but even he knew that was a stupid idea. 

“Baby, dad needs you to go with Carla so he can work a bit longer, you know how busy we get at work.”  
“Buck isn’t working.”

“Now who said that? I’m sure Buck is throwing everything he has into his work right now.”  
He could feel Athena’s gaze, shaking his head as his foot began tapping harshly against the floor. If he didn’t get answers soon he was going to punch the closest thing to him before calling the station himself. 

“Diaz, my office.”  
Biting his tongue he shot up, kissing his son's forehead as gently as possible before pounding down the hall. Bobby shut the door behind them, directing him to a seat. 

“We know that both Maddie and Buck are missing-”  
“We already know that!”  
“We know that the Buckley’s are fighters, especially with both of them together.”   
“We need to find them! I need- why are we locked in here when we should be out there looking!”

“You know why we can’t be out there, we have no leads, no idea where they are. Eddie, focus on me for a second.”

Tearing his glare from the window to his boss was easy enough, fury raging through him as he went back to bouncing his leg repeatedly against the ground. 

“You need to keep yourself together. If we are going to find them we need to be all in, our minds focused on the task ahead. I know you are angry-”  
“I am passed angry, Cap. I’m pissed off.”  
“I know, and I know you are also worried, scared. But, we will find them. We will find your boy alive.”

“He can’t keep himself out of trouble, first the truck, then that god damn tsunami, when does it stop?”  
“Last I checked you cut your rope underground in a flooded field.”  
He watched his captain fall back in his seat, arms crossed drawing a wet bounce of laughter from his lips. 

“We deserve each other.”  
“You do, and you will have each other.”  
His laugh turned into a sob, fists clenching together as he thought about his boyfriend trapped who knows where with that monster.

“We need to find him, Bobby.”


	5. Chapter Five

He could barely see as he dragged his sister through the trees, pain blossoming all throughout his bones as he tried not to run into a passing tree. Her grip on him was strong, holding onto him for dear life as he struggled to find any opening up ahead. 

“Buck, I can hear him getting closer!”  
“We need to get out of here, I have no idea where we are going!”  
Distress was leaking from him more and more as they moved forward, he had gotten them lost in the middle of nowhere and if they didn’t find a way out soon-  
“What if we stopped to hide!”  
“That's the worst thing we can do, it’s forcing us into a corner.”  
“It’s two against one!”  
“Yeah, with me concussed, you out of breath and him with a brick I slammed over his head we would definitely stand a chance!”  
Her pants kept coming despite her glare, he could feel it burning into his skull.  
“Exactly, he is injured! We can work with that, we can find something else to get him down-”  
“What we need is to get out-”  
He went silent at the sound of cars, breaths stopping as he came to a halt and hurriedly swung his focus around the trees. 

“Do you hear that?”  
He was just as desperate as she was, trying to pinpoint the sound of a car as the yells behind them drew near.   
“This way!”  
Maddie took the lead this time, running ahead until they saw a line of homes just a few yards ahead. 

At first he thought it was excitement, but the faster he forced his legs the more lightheaded he began to feel. He tried to signal to Maddie, but within seconds he saw dirt, curling into himself as she quickly fell to his side.   
“No! No, Buck get up!”  
She looked behind him, fear filling her eyes as he scanned the trees for any sign of her father.   
“You have to keep going!”  
“I can-”  
He tried pushing himself up, her help useless as he just fell back down nauseously.   
“You have to go ahead- find someone! Maddie, please go!”  
Dragging her gaze back down she refused, hands running against the ground as she began crawling in hopes of finding something to defend them with.   
“What are you doing- go get help!”  
He could taste more blood, his jaw having to be swollen by now as more talking made the pain worse. His ribs had to have been broken furthermore, his insides on fire as he rolled over to his stomach and tried holding himself up. 

“I am not leaving you, not again.”  
“This isn’t the time for making up for past mistakes, Mads, you are more useful finding a way to call the team-”  
Her hand shot out, silencing him as she stood, large branch in hand getting ready to fight till she couldn’t anymore.   
Her breaths were heavy, yet she brought herself down as quiet as she could as the voice seemed to be right behind them. 

“Madeline! Evan! I swear to god if I find you you’re dead!”  
He knew the man meant it, body weighing him down as he desperately clawed at the ground to get up. Buck could hear footsteps, turning to his sister who now stood hidden behind a tree clutching to her newly found weapon. The heavy crunch of earth was so close and his brain screamed in horror as he saw the familiar frame coming into view.

The eyes locked on him, scowl deepening and legs breaking out in a sprint toward him. 

“You just killed your sister, you good for nothing piece of shit made your last mistake!”  
Scrambling backward he tried getting up, bracing against a tree and gasping against the pain. He knew if he didn’t get up it would be worse, the pain wouldn’t stop and as he closed his eyes and raised him arms in defense he jumped at the sound of a weight falling to the ground. 

He could barely breathe, prying his eyes open to see Maddie standing over the fallen man with terror and a hint of fight taking over her features. He quickly forced himself over, grabbing his own branch on the way as he watched blood begin to form on the back of the man’s scalp. 

“You bitch!”   
Before he could get back up she brought the limb down on him again, as hard as she could while screaming at Buck to run.   
“Go! I will be right behind you!”  
Shaking his head he couldn’t bring himself to leave her, caving into his fear as he leaned heavily against another tree. 

“Evan!”

His mother's voice was loud, he almost forgot she was even there as it struck him she was also on her way. She had never hurt him, just stayed witness, but he wasn’t sure if that would still hold true now. 

“Evan! Maddie! Where did you children run off to!”  
The man on the ground called out for her, holding the back of his head as Maddie laid out one more hit, dropping the stick and running toward him. She wrapped her arm around him, trying to get them farther away as the man struggled to get back up. They heard their mothers gasp and refused to look back anymore, aiming for the line of fences up just out of their reach.   
“What did you do! Oh my- you ungrateful-”  
She stuttered through anger, feet behind them obviously hers as she raced to catch up.   
“You were always such a disappointment! You ruined everything you touched! Your sister, our reputation, you never appreciated what you had!”  
Before he could turn he felt a weight on his back, falling forward as fists wailed through the air. He turned just in time, catching his mother's hand as Maddie kept running. He thanked god she went, knowing their father must have still been down as he overpowered the woman and hung over her smaller frame. She flashed through emotions, screaming and cursing at him as he held her wrists over her head. Every kick threatened to take him down, but as he held tighter he flinched at the revealing of her skin.   
The farther his hands pushed the more her sweater rose, bruises and cuts littering her arm so far up he couldn’t lift the material anymore. His eyes widened in shock, watching her fight fade away as he shook his head. 

“Why the hell are you allowing this! Why do you let him do this to us!”  
Her tears looked real, but the anger stayed as she gained back a little more fight.

“It started when you left, you pushed all his hate toward me! You did this to me! You ruined everything, you killed our family!”  
“You did that to yourself! You let him treat us this way, you let him hurt me over and over- you deserve everything that will happen to you!”  
“Nothing can be worse than having you as a son!”  
He was at a loss of words, feeling the fight underneath him draw to a close as the spark in her eyes faded. She just looked at him, emotionless as he let her go and stood. His blood dripped down his chin, dripping across her bright yellow sweater in permanent stain. She didn’t fight him, she didn’t reach for him, she watched him go and stayed on the ground, shaking her head in disappointment. 

“You ruined my life. You ruined my husband. The biggest mistake I have ever made was bringing you into this world.”  
“And my mistake was thinking i needed you to love me in order to create mine.”

He wasn’t sure where Maddie was. He forced himself through the yard, reaching a street while hysterically looking for any sign that she made it out. There was no one around, the sun already setting around them which struck him as odd. There were no children, no neighbors, no cars driving and he gasped in another breath as he moved through the pain. 

“Maddie!”  
The silence was louder than he needed it to be. 

“Maddie!”  
Leaning up against a parked vehicle, blood in his hands smeared against the paint as he hung over in agony. Everything hurt and he couldn’t bring himself to move forward anymore. He prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that someone would find him here, that things would be okay, but that was the last thing he thought before feet raced from behind, blacking his vision before he could hit the ground. 

He thought he lost consciousness, floating into the abyss of nothing, but as the hands digging into his skin drew out the pain he quickly realized he just couldn’t hear. The ringing in his ear was loud and then silent, eyes widening as his father's face hung dangerously close to his own. The anger was nothing he had seen before, blood smeared across the sides of his face so vibrantly it was almost too real. His heart pounded in his chest, hands raising to fight back when the other caught them, squeezing so hard he swore he felt the bone quaking under the pressure.  
Trying to scream he felt his throat burning, shoes scraping against the pavement, but still heard nothing. The pain in his head continued to grow as he was shoved harder into the ground, throat spasming against the hand wrapping around his neck. He had hoped the man would give up, that he would show him some type of mercy and let him go, but the look in his eyes was complete apathy. The level of emptiness he never thought he’d see, even in his line of work. And it was that moment Evan Buckley knew he was going to die. 

  
  
  


The sirens were piercing, tires screeching through the neighborhood as they raced toward the Rivas Canyon Trail. Of all places, Eddie had a sick feeling for his boyfriend and his sister being brought to a trail smothered in trees and slopes. They were grasping for any information back at the station, hitting a level of panic as it had been hours since the siblings had gone missing.   
It only took an hour itself for him to regret not forcing Buck to go straight to the police the moment he found out about the abuse. He couldn’t help but think this could have been avoided if he went behind the man’s back and told Athena all that he knew. He could deal with the anger, the betrayal Buck would have felt if it was anything other than this sinking feeling. 

“Maddie called from Oracle Place, just outside the trail lines! She said Buck was hurt, she left him behind, but their father was knocked out not far behind! Neighbors have all been told to wait inside, authorities are already on their way!”  
Bobby sounded as strong as ever, his voice shaky, but purposeful as he called through the speaker with new information. Eddie could only nod, staring across the way at Chimney who looked one word away from tears. He knew this wasn’t Chim’s first situation like this, Doug had hit them both pretty hard last year and now he was forced to relive it again. 

“This Buckley family may not be worth the gray hair, huh?”  
Looking up, the Asian man smiled sadly, nodding his agreement as he adjusted his gear. 

“Sometimes I wonder if this is my bad luck or hers.”  
“I guess we will have to just wait for the next kidnapping, third times the charm right?”  
The laughter was a little stronger, highlighting the hope beginning to form in the back of the truck. 

“We are going to find them. We are gonna bring them home.”

“We better.”   



	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really small chapter; you will see why when you read it!

_The hand around his neck was so much larger than his. He always wondered how such a large hand didn’t kill him between every hit lashed out at him. The painting hanging from the wall behind was digging into his back, painfully and easily causing a bruise to be later assessed. The absolute rage upon his father's face was terrifying, he knew his dad was mad about the bruises being shown to his teacher, but he never realized that the man could get this angry._

_ He watched the other hand come closer, slapping him so hard his head smacked heavily against the wall, blurring his vision for just a second before it cleared back up again.  
_ _"You will never escape me, Evan. You think you can show someone and they’ll care enough to call the police? To save you? When will you get it through your thick skull that no one has ever cared enough about you to get involved?”  
The hand tightened, cutting off his air supply causing his head to grow lighter. His feet were no longer touching the ground.   
_ _“You will never be important to anyone. You weren’t born to be important.”  
The spit against his face dripped down his nose, causing his eyes to flutter closed to avoid getting hit again. _

_“Look at me when I talk to you, boy!”  
The hand shook him, draining his face of more color as he struggled out a pained cough. _

_“If you ever- ever! Tell another soul about what goes on in this house you will never leave it again. Am I clear?”  
He couldn’t answer, he knew he needed to, but he could hardly breathe, straining his neck as he gasped out another weak breath of air. Nodding was all he could do, watching the satisfaction in the older man’s eyes before his body was dropped, hitting the ground so harshly he felt his ankle roll under the pressure.  
_ _“And don’t think this was your punishment.”  
He watched the man walk away, forcing him to curl up tighter against the wall with his hands protectively hiding his throat from the world. The skin was going to bruise, it always did. _

_He just hoped one day it would be over._

  
  


Just as he saw the light it was gone, the body on top of him was thrown off so harshly he froze for a moment in shock. 

“Maddie?”  
He mumbled the name, peeling his eyes open to see the bright pink and orange sky hanging over him. His hands were held in mid-air, hovering almost as if they were weightless, floating beyond his control. 

He still couldn’t hear anything, mumbling his sister's name again before hands were under his arms, dragging him up and striking him with fear. He shot out, fighting his way from the embrace before a face appeared in his, his fight finally coming to a halt as his eyes flooded with tears. Eddie was his safe haven, those brown eyes filled with worry, yet relief as Buck cradled the man’s face in his hands. 

He felt hope for a minute, pulling the face closer as the man reciprocated, wrapping his arm around Buck’s waist and tugging him closer until he was in his arms. He felt the body shaking around him, the hand in his hair so gentle and he allowed it to stay despite the pain banging frantically against his skull. The lips in his hair were moving, they were saying something and he only sobbed harder as he realized he may never hear that voice again. Even as other hands were on him, trying to assess him for injuries he didn’t want to let go, he held tighter and refused to lay back, even as he felt a stretcher pushing up against him from behind. 

In Eddie’s arms, right in this moment he could feel his freedom slowly start to come back and he wasn’t letting that chance go. He was in love. He was so in love with life, with the man, with his sister, with his team. Buck felt true freedom and he was never going to lose it again. 

He doesn’t remember how he got into the ambulance, but Eddie was sitting at his side, running his hands through his curls as he dropped another kiss against his forehead. The team was scrambling and he saw Hen in his sights, speaking to him as she shined a light in his eyes. His lack of response had Eddie tense around him, the man must have figured the issue out and was turning to them to tell them. Hen just smiled back, eyes misty, but strong as she nodded and grabbed his hand for a second. They just stared at each other, a moment of knowing before she got back to work and kept her thumb racing back and forth against his wrist. 

His gaze rose back to Eddie, the smile on his lips clearly for show as he let his other hand rest on Buck’s upper arm. He couldn’t help but just stare, lost in the moment as his world began to darken once again. Through the panic growing in the man’s eyes he smiled back warmly, exhaustion finally taking its hold. 

He couldn’t wait to see Christopher. 

He couldn’t wait to go home. 

  
  


“Buck! Wake up!”  
Eddie was panic stricken, hand shaking the body below him as the beeping began to even out. Hen was taking over shouting for something he couldn’t bother to listen for as he stood and let himself get in the way. 

“Eddie get back! BP dropping!”  
His heart was falling into his stomach, a claustrophobic feeling of being stuck in this ambulance with his dying boyfriend rising quickly as he started to shout.

“Get us to the damn hospital!”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short story; I guess my mind is still set as a one-shot type mind and I keep trying to get to the point too quickly. Hopefully you guys have been enjoying it!
> 
> I have never taken prompts, but if any ideas pop into your mind feel free to leave them in the comments and I can continue writing these characters into more exhausting situations!

Buck hated the feeling of being suffocated, as his mind woke up he felt a million things at once. His body was tucked under sheets, his hands smothered in needles, his face covered in an oxygen mask. 

He felt a hand wrapped around his own, a clasp around his finger and too much light shining down on his face. 

Everything was overwhelming and as the beeping got louder he let himself panic. He was ready to go home, this wasn’t where he expected to be. Where was he?

A choked sob crawled up his throat, the hand in his disappearing only to reappear on his waist. Another fell on his cheek, a soft voice calling his name as he struggled to open his eyes against the brightness of above. 

Fingers were at his feet, he felt someone grabbing him and he felt his stomach churn at the thought, what happened? Did they catch up to him and Maddie? 

The idea made his blood run cold, tears warming up his cheeks before pooling at the top of the plastic around his face. Everything was beginning to close in on him and he heard the voice coming back, he knew it was Eddie. 

The man was calling his name, a weight dipping the surface beneath him as the heat finally left his lips. He breathed in fresh air, gasps at a time and as a shadow hovered over him he finally let his eyes peel open. 

“Mi amor?”  
Oh god. 

The brown eyes were locked over him, an arm holding the man against the mattress as another came slowly toward his face. The darker skin pushed back his curls, smiling warmly before shifting and lowering his fingers to wipe away the tears below.   
“It’s alright, you’re safe. It’s all over.”  
His face crumpled at the thought, pain filling his thoughts as he began to remember everything that happened.   
“Can you hear me, baby?”  
He nodded gently, barely moving, but forcing enough to show he in fact could hear. He wanted to shift closer, hands at his sides reaching up to lock the man in place. Eddie only smiled, letting himself be pulled down until their foreheads were pressed against each other. 

“Eddie..”  
“Buck.”  
His head tilted in amusement, the smile growing as Buck had yet to react to anything around him.   
“Eddie.”  
“I’m right here, sweetheart.”  
“Promise?”  
“I promise.”  


It took him a while to come around, the two just staring at each other for a little longer before the door opened behind them. His flinch drew Eddie closer, pressing a kiss against the tip of his nose before turning toward the guest and asking them to grab the lights. As the brightness dimmed he sighed in relief, falling deeper into the mattress and trying to pull his boyfriend with him.  
“Hold on, baby, you have to let the doctor take a look at you.”  
He would have refused if he could, but he felt so exhausted. His body felt so heavy and as Eddie pulled away he closed his eyes again.   
“Go back to sleep, Buck. I’ll be here when you wake up.”  
  


And he was.

The moment his eyes opened the second time he shot up, eyes searching the room only to land on the man sitting just off to his right. Eddie gave him a smile, standing up and gently easing him back down against the sheets. 

“Hey there, easy, Buck.”  
“Maddie?”  
“She’s okay, she’s fine. Her and Chimney are downstairs getting some lunch.”  
“Downstairs?”  
“Yeah, how are you feeling?”  
Thinking about it he flexed his fingers, then his toes before examining all the bandaging around his skin. 

“Are you in any pain?”

He shook his head, not really feeling anything on all the medicine he must have been on. 

“It’s mainly just the concussion wearing off, you may feel a little tired. Also, a couple of bruised ribs, neck-”  
Lifting his fingers toward his neck he saw Eddies eyes widen, quickly reaching out and batting his hands away.   
“Let’s leave that alone, baby. It’s really swollen.”  
Clutching to the familiar hands he nodded, pulling them closer until Eddie was sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“My parents?”  
Eddie looked away, forcing out a few breaths as he shook his head.   
“Buck-”  
“My parents.”  
Turning back he sighed, looking him in the eyes as he began to explain.   
“An officer had him tackled, he wouldn’t go down easy.. He died on the scene. Your mom was found just outside the trail, bruised, but okay. She was taken to holding and after everything is discussed her trial will move on from there.”  
“Where's Christopher?”  
The name seemed to calm the man down, making him smile gently before looking back toward the door.   
“Well, you have woken up a couple times, after the last Bobby and Athena took him to get some lunch to keep him busy.”  
“I wanna see him.”

Trailing a gentle hand through his hair the man nodded, “I know, he will be back soon.”  
“I thought I was gonna die, Eddie.”  
“I know, but you didn’t.”  
His throat was beginning to ache, his voice growing raspier as Eddie carefully laid down next to him.   
“You should get some more rest, sweetheart. We can talk about this when you’re feeling better.”

  
  


They held each other mainly in silence for the next few days. Everyone had come to visit, check up on him here and there, and today he finally got to leave. Christopher was currently in his lap as he sat in the wheelchair, Eddie wheeling him out with the rest of the team on each side. 

“Alright, Buckaroo. You better go home and stay out of trouble for the next few weeks.”  
Hen chuckled, shaking her head as Maddie pressed a kiss to his temple. He leaned into it, smiling gently at her as a car stopped in front of them. Chim stepped out, handing the keys to Eddie before opening the side door and coming over to grab Chris.

“Alright, big guy, let's get you buckled up!”

The child giggled, letting his Uncle Chim pick him up before Eddie began wheeling him to the other side of the vehicle. 

“Alright, baby, up we go.”  
Pushing himself up he groaned a little, body sore as he was dragged up and quickly buckled into the seat.   
“I’m not a child, you know.”  
“Trust me, you could pass.”  
The kiss on his forehead drew a grin, watching the door shut as Eddie brought the wheelchair back around to the entrance. The whole team was talking, probably discussing who was going to make his dinner for the next few weeks making him start planning in his head. If he milked this out enough he wouldn’t have to cook or leave bed for a while. 

The thought made him smile.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I think that's enough..! I feel like it was as mentioned short, but we kind of went through everything we could for this adventure. I enjoyed staying up till early morning working on it though.. give me ideas for new stories or anything else you would want to see in this one! My comments are always open for improvement or what-not.
> 
> Thanks, guys!


	8. Behind the Scenes : Unedited chapter of Buck's Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something I had written, but never intended to post. However, it didn't feel right just wasting away in my google drive, so here is a rough draft of something that could have been, but never was. 
> 
> Thanks again, enjoy!

The colors around him soothed him back into a calmed state, the boy in his arms rambling on and on about all the different movies they were going to watch based on the characters on their blankets. He felt himself nod along, staring at the nemo characters and smiling gently at the rememberance of those words from the tsunami.   
Just keep swimming.   
“Hey, what's going on in here!”  
Flinching he turned his head, not even realizing the man had been home as he pulled the child closer without thinking about it.   
“Movie party!”  
“In a fort? How are you going to see the TV?”  
He watched the man shuffle off his jacket, disappearing for a second before hands began to crawl into the small hidden away space.   
Eddie settled next to his lover, carefully wrapping an arm around his shoulders and dragging him into a side embrace.   
“We can see it from here! Look!”  
Following his finger Buck quickly took note in the fact that no, they couldn’t actually see much of anything and let out a breath of amusement.   
“I should have helped with the fort.”  
“No, I think it’s cool! Chris, you did such a good job, buddy! How about you go grab the laptop and we can set it on the floor.”  
With sparks in his eyes the boy nodded, quickly making his way out and grabbing hold of his crutches.   
The moment he was out of earshot Eddie dropped a small kiss atop his head, breathing out a sigh as he leaned in even closer.   
“How was your day, mi amor?”  
With a shrug he kept his gaze away, not wanting the man to see how much of a struggle he was trying to control.  
“Did you get some sleep? I noticed May and Harry were no longer here.”  
“I asked them to leave.”  
“Why?”  
The answer was another shift of his shoulders, discomfort as he turned around to face further away.  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
He felt his lip quiver, the memories of two weeks ago crashing like an avalanche in his mind. Once one was remembered they all joined in and he adjusted himself on shaky hands.   
“What's going on in that head of yours?”   
He felt a finger tap against the side of his head. Arms pulling him backward into the hug with soft mumbles brushing against his ear.  
“I’m still here, you’re okay.”

Christopher returned a few minutes later, laptop sliding between the slit in the cushions followed by a bright smile. The boy went to speak, excitement in his voice when he froze at the sight ahead of him. Eddie only smiled back, nodding that everything was okay despite the other father figure curling himself into the man’s chest.   
“Is Buck sad again?”  
“Sad? No, cariño, he’s just so tired! You guys must have had so much fun today!”  
The smile came back, the loud voice booming through the house as he ran through everything they did that afternoon.   
As he spoke Eddie listened closely, the familiar details of Buck waking him up early, their visitor stopping by with food that was served to everyone except the server himself. How he played with Harry and May as Buck laid on the couch, not really playing back, but still around and that made Chris none the wiser as long as he was in the same room.   
“Then you made this fort? That's amazing, mijo!”  
“Thanks! Buck said he would stay in it forever!”  
“He did, did he?”  
He didn’t let his smile falter as his shirt grew damp, body in his arms beginning to tremble as Chris pushed the laptop in his direction.   
“What should we watch?”  
“I don’t know, Buck, what should we watch, sweetheart?”  
The sniffles were quiet, hands racing to his face to rid himself of tears before sitting up a little higher.   
“How about disney?”  
Buck nodded, agreeing to anything as Christopher scrolled through the Disney Plus app.   
“We will get past this, and when we do I am going to marry you, Evan Buckley.”  
The sniffles turned into a small laugh, disbelief pouring from his lips as he looked up at the older man.   
“A mess like me?”  
“Mess? I don’t see a- Chris, do you see a mess?”  
The boy’s head shot up, aiming around the fort with a frown as he shook his head.   
“No!”  
“Hmm, how weird.”  
Buck just smiled through his tears


End file.
